A few days ago I was watching the history channel very late at night, (it was at that odd hour between Futurama, and the reruns of the daily show) and I happened to watch a show about modern day vampires. They talked about people who drink blood, people who feed off the physic aura of others, and about the vampire club scene in major cities. But they didn't talk about the most prolefic and possibly most successful cult of vampires. The blood bank. I can't imagine anyone more persistent about getting my life juices. Don't get me wrong, I am all for donating blood, it is a good way to help and you could save a life. But for some reason the blood bank felt that I wasn't giving enough so they called me twice a day every day for over 2 months. Unlike normal vampires crosses, garlic, and wooden steaks through the heart don't stop them. (the wood in the heart slows them down for sure though) No the only preventative measure is to tattoo yourself regularly, or visit africa, or take prescription meds, or get Herpes. So the last time the blood bank called I told them that I would be leaving for my new job as a tattoo artist in the congo, where my many life partners could finally share needles and unprotected sex without uncle sam and the local authorities breathing down my neck. And since then, no more calls. I might be under investigation under the patriot act but who isn't these days. (Wow a Patriot Act Joke, it's been almost a week since you've heard one of those right? Wrong the Patriot Act is no joke you terrorist.)
Also this is probably the worst title I have ever used, and I appologize to everyone who had to see it.
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1 comment:
"So the last time the blood bank called I told them that I would be leaving for my new job as a tattoo artist in the congo, where my many life partners could finally share needles and unprotected sex without uncle sam and the local authorities breathing down my neck."
Classic.
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