April Fool's Day Eve

This is a day made for all those organised people who like to plan things out to hook up with an asshole with a devious mind. So I am looking for my organizer any minute. Tomorrow as you may or may not know is April Fools Day (well reading the title should have clued you in Genius). Pranksters all over the country will be using classics like "your shoe's untied", and "Hey look your grandmas on fire". But are these tried and true pranks enough for you. Are you the kind of practical joker that savors the smell of fresh shaving cream, or relishes hearing the snap of a "accidentally weakened" chair. If you are and are in need of a few good ideas then let me help you. If you feel up to it, you can sort through the mountains of porn on the Internet and find a few good ones. (But that would require using Google. and I just don't trust those shady bastards.) Computerpranks.com will give you many quick and easy pranks to put on a friends computer. such as the classic pointer chasing animated Penis. Watch him go. Here are a few Jon Approved jokes you can try out. Line a friends bed with Tin Foil, under the mattress pad is best. It's not that harmful, but for a tired roomate it will cause a bed the crinkles everytime he moves. Remove all utensils from the house or dorm room. Watch those sorry fools try to eat a bowl of Chocolate lucky charms with chopsticks. Unscrew every light bulb. Darkness=toe stubbery (divided by 45, take the natural LOG, Square, Multiple by the people in Liechtenstien and subtract seven, and I am sure that you will have some sort of number). Fill a pillow case with Unsented shaving cream and lay it on a bed. (helps if you cover it with another pillow. Seran wrap a car, desk, or friends toilet. and if nothing else freeze a can of shaving cream, cut away the metal and leave the frozen cream where ever. The blob of cream will expand uncontrolably as it warms to the size of a poor milage SUV. Today on Campus I saw a pre April Fools day prank where they covered a car with Post-its. That was some quality workmanship and I would like to meet the mind that thought that one up. Well good luck pranking and remember it's all fun and games until some one's grandma catches fire. then it's just a game. PUT OUT GRANNY, the home addition.

Children who eat paint chips may already be idiots

I was wondering about little kids eating lead paint chips. I imagine those little buggers would have to eat them when they were 3-5 right, I mean seriously would any decent parent just wander away from thier child when they were 1 or 2 for long enough for them to consume a decent amount of this paint. Who even puts a 1 or 2 year old in a room with chipping paint. Children that young should be in baby jail (a crib) or start their brainwashing (PBS shows). SO that means the kid should be about 3 or so when they first get their grubby little mits around some paint chips. If you are 3 and you are eating peices of paint off the wall then you may not be the brightest buld to begin with. I think the whole lead paint chip is a coincidence. I can't imagine they taste good either. Little Johny in the corner ravaging the window frame in hopes for more delicous "Burnt Siena" isn't exactly what I would label as an example of humanities great hopes for our future. I think these kids are already damaged goods and people should quit blaming the poor paint companies.