That blog that almost wasn't (and probably shouldn't)

It seems that someone up above didn't want me to write this blog, No not Gregor the crazy hobo that lives in the crawl space and feeds on insulation and rats, probably some one like god. I started writing this afternoon and the computer froze, when I finally convinced* it to work the power went out briefly and the computer shut down, sending the few feeble lines of my rant to float aimlessly through the unused portion of the internet along with all the forgotten porn. So finally now I am sitting down to write and hopefully nothing goes wrong... ...still nothing. whew, Nothing yet... still going strong. Alright that's enough. I know it's been a while since you have gotten your daily dose of Jon (about 3 cups sifted and blended with egg whites). And what has your patience earned you? probably some half cocked angery ranting that may or may not make you laugh, but lets start with what has been taking up a decent amount of my time since I have been home, work. I am doing side work for the brewery that is opening in camp hill. I have been running wiring, and learning about electrical work, and desperately trying not to electricute myself (clearly I am to be served raw, refer to the recipe a few lines up). Anyways work isn't bad, but the brewery's grand opening is fast approaching, and there is a lot of work left to do. It seems everynight when I leave work there is tons of work to be done (like putting out those pesky electrical fires that my wiring may or may not have started). But when I come back in the morning a lot of the work is done, and there is empty beer bottles on the bar. Now I have 2 theories. First, that the owners are staying very late at night and working and possibly having a few before they go home, or second, and highly more plausible, the brewery has hired gnomes to work through the night, and they pay them with beer. Think of the profit margin on that, one bottle of beer would satisfy at least 5 of the little buggers, so hell one case of beer... hmm, carry the 2... move the decimal to the right... ...lefty loosey... ...A LOT OF GNOMES. And if they work all night (slightly drunk) then damn they could get a lot done, much more then a few half buzzed owners that's for damn sure. Well work is pretty stressfull so I have started to look for a new way to relieve stress. The best way I can imagine would be Sea Cow punching. Seriously could you imagine how good it would feel to punch the mess out of a Manitee, you could punch for days and days and when you were done, it would just swim away (at the exact level of boat propellers, DIVE YOU STUPID FAT SEA COW, DIVE). They are the only punching bag that would offer great sounds with each blow. PUNCH, moan, PUNCH, PUNCH, moan, CHOP, KICK, Moan, (did anyone else play PaRappa the Rappa' as a kid). And you totally could wail away with a metal softball bat if you were particuarly stressed. And beating the thing would only make it more tender. Imagine a thick Manatee steak loaded with A1 on the grill. Ok i agree it's pretty gross. Ok really gross, probably tastes like celery or something. GROSS, extra GROSS.

*When I say convinced I mean punched and kicked it like a manatee*

* I love these crazy star thingers, but still hate manatees