Whistles in the Wind

A few days ago while visiting one of my frequent haunts, the library (Mostly I wear a sheet with two eye holes and yell Boo at other students) I found the sudden and uncontrollable urge to use the restroom. A not too uncommon thing I might add. Anyways I entered the Potty and took up the traditional stance at the unrinal. Feet spread shoulder width apart, left hand securing bottom of fly* and right had doing the heavy lifting... Just go along with it, it helps my ego. Anyways as I was about to commence I heard a dreaded sound coming from outside the bathroom. Whistling. I thought "Wow I hope the whistler doesn't come in here, and what the hell is that stain on my pants, it looks like mustard" (it turns out it's yellow paint, and I need to get new jeans) Anyways the wistling kept getting closer and then I heard the door creak open. "Damn" I thought. I did the quick urinal math and realized he would have to be next to me. "Extra Damn". Now I am trying to stop thinking about the whistles and think about peeing, but then when he gets next to me, I start thinking "I wonder what that tune is? And why is he whistling while he pisses, surely the snow white dwarves didn't classify that as being work?" Then I thought about the 7 dwarves peeing, and how creeped out snow white would be living with 7 midgets. And then the final thought struck me. I was standing there looking fixidly at a wall with myself in my hand thinking about the living arrangements in a Disney movie. In the meantime the whistler had finished his business and began humming a tune while washing his hands.

* this is the traditional placement of the left hand, but there are many others including the classic drunk, where the left hand takes up station on the wall about eye level to act as another point of contant to keep the bathroom from spinning away and out of control. Very helpful when in a less then reputable bar bathroom with less then reputable balance