Behold the power of Febreeze

Today I come to you to speak of yet another wonder chemical brought to the American people. No it's not the most holy Nyquil, and no it's not Gold Bond, (I think that stuff could cure cancer) it's every guys best friend Febreeze. This magic chemical is the closest thing to Anti-Stink spray yet known to mankind. I don't know how it works really, but I assume it's a little something like this. Odor, in it's rawest form, FUNK, is hanging out everywhere in your room. Not too big of a deal for day to day life, but when Funk has it's pals over, B.O. and "that ass smell" then you might get mad and do something about it. That something is get yourself a bottle of Febreeze and go to town. You can spray that stuff anywhere; couch, carpet, curtains, pets, hobos, whatever you have laying around your room. And somehow through the magic of techology the Febreeze evicts the funk and lets the room smell like.... well it smells like febreeze, but still it's not funk. This stuff is great for people like me who don't like to clean as much as to find out someone's coming over and lay down a healthy coating of Febreeze throughout the area. And before I finish up and toss the bottle back down, I give myself a few passes just to be sure. There is a new aresol febreeze out on the market and I am a huge fan. It gives me that same funk fighting power with out all that trigger squeezing I had to do with the original variety. There is only one downside to this magnificent milestone in better living, You never have enough. When you really need it, parents are coming, having a girl over for dinner (I know that some of you are female, but I just like to think you will have each other over for dinner... and then there is a glass of wine spilled on a shirt.... and then.... well all the little dots can lead you to....) Or those pesky child service people start poking around. Anyways, childabuser, potential lesbian, or just unclean person (who can pick with those options, I can, unfortunately the lesbians I know don't really like me too much.) you should always have a spare bottle of Febreeze.